


i don't wanna say it out loud

by sailormomotaros



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: M/M, letter fic i guess?, mag s4 spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-01-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:27:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22111054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sailormomotaros/pseuds/sailormomotaros
Summary: A series of interdepartmental memos exchanged between Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, and Martin Blackwood, Archival/Administrative Assistant, between January and October of 2019.
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
Comments: 12
Kudos: 148





	i don't wanna say it out loud

**January 16th, 2019**

Martin--

Basira tells me you’re working upstairs now. I’m back to work now, they finally let me out of the hospital last week. I haven’t seen you yet, and Basira says you aren’t in the Archives often anymore.

~~ Why ~~

If you see Peter Lukas (since as far as I know you’re the only person who has), please let him know that the heating is off in the Archives again. Melanie and Basira won’t tell me how the boiler broke.

-Jonathan Sims

Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute

* * *

  
**January 20th, 2019**

Martin,

I saw you in the hallway today. Did you get my note? The heating still isn’t fixed.  ~~ It’s quiet down here now too, bloody miserable ~~

-Jonathan Sims

Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute

* * *

**January 31st, 2019**

Martin,

Found this in the backroom. This is an archive, not the poetry shelf in a secondhand shop.

-Jonathan Sims

Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute

* * *

**February 14th, 2019**

Martin,

Case #002012 as requested by Lukas’ office.

-J Sims

Head Archivist

  
  


* * *

**February 23rd, 2019**

Martin,

Case #031401 as requested by Lukas’ office.

-J Sims

* * *

**March 3rd, 2019**

Martin,

You’re either ignoring me or none of my memos have reached you. Since I called out to you in the hallway last week and you didn’t reply, I assume it’s the former. I do not appreciate being ignored, especially as I am fairly certain you are still technically  _ my  _ assistant. Of course, it isn’t like any of my other ‘assistants’ listen to me anyways.

-J Sims

* * *

**March 3rd, 2019**

Note to the Head Archivist-

Please direct all statement deliveries to Rosie.

Thank you,

Martin Blackwood

* * *

**March 3rd, 2019**

Note to Martin Blackwood-

Come and pick up all further statements yourself. Some of us have work to do.

-J Sims

Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute

* * *

**March 4th, 2019**

~~ Jon ~~ To the Head Archivist-

There is no need for that kind of attitude.

-Martin Blackwood

* * *

**March 4th, 2019**

Martin,

I could say the same to you. The pretentious act doesn’t suit you.

-JS

* * *

**March 4th, 2019**

Jon-

Please stop sending me memos.

-Martin Blackwood

* * *

**March 4th, 2019**

Martin,

Kindly come down to the Archives and make me.

-Jonathan Sims

* * *

**March 5th, 2019**

Jon,

Now you’re just being childish.

* * *

**March 12th, 2019**

Martin,

Case #071009.

-JS

* * *

**July 25th, 2019**

Martin,

Thank you for giving Basira those tapes. It was an appreciated wakeup call.

~~Melanie does not want to see me anymore, and I don’t blame her. Is it worse that Basira will still speak to me but never meet my eyes?~~

She made it clear she would… put me down if the need arose.

~~ It would be silly to say that I miss ~~

~~ I do find myself ~~

~~ I wish you would ~~

Whatever you’re doing, I dislike being left out of the loop.

-Jonathan Sims

* * *

**July 26th, 2019**

Martin,

By now I can only admit to myself that I probably drove you away too. I cannot blame anyone but myself for… well, for everything. Daisy is back. She only avoids my gaze for fear of herself, I think, not for fear of me. It’s comforting in a way.

I’m sure that you now toss these memos out on arrival, as Daisy told me you did just that when i sent one with her to your office.

I saw Georgie today and she smiled at me, but she didn’t talk to me. Her and Melanie were going out for drinks. I’ve put her through so much, I can’t blame her for keeping her distance now. Nor can I blame you for doing the same. It’s safer this way, I’m certain.

Please be well.

~~ I need you to ~~

-Jon

* * *

**July 28th, 2019**

Martin,

I found more of your poetry in a drawer in my desk. No clue how it got there. I actually read some of it.  ~~ It’s not bad ~~ It could be worse. For instance, the rhythm of the thing is off, but there’s real emotion in it. I’ve enclosed it with this memo for you, along with some notes.

I don’t know when I started feeling your absence so keenly. It’s very strange. I suppose that’s why I keep writing you these notes.

-Jon

* * *

  
**August 6nd, 2019**

Martin,

Case #110630.

-JS

* * *

**August 20th, 2019**

Martin,

Case #080210.

-JS

* * *

**September 19th, 2019**

Martin,

You were right. About quitting. I’m sorry for my outburst.

~~ I think I’m going stir-crazy down here. ~~

I know you aren’t reading these, and that’s alright. I found this book of poetry at the bookstore the other day. Might be something to read in between whatever work Lukas has you doing up there.

I keep expecting to see you down here, even now.

-Jon

* * *

**September 20th, 2019**

Jon,

Please don’t be stupid. Don’t try anything. I’m serious. I won’t quit with you, so don’t go doing anything rash.

-Martin

* * *

**October 10th, 2019**

Jon,

~~ I miss ~~

~~ You are so ~~

~~ I’m sorry ~~

Be safe. I’ll miss you.

-Martin

* * *

**October 31st, 2019**

Martin-

Silly as you may find it, I would prefer if you read this on your walk. Perhaps it is, paradoxically, easier for me to convey these thoughts on paper. Perhaps it’s an assurance that I can measure my words. To make sure I don’t accidentally ask a question that you don’t want to answer.

They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, yes? Maybe that’s true. Maybe the heart was always fond, though, and the absence brought that aching affection closer to the surface. God, look at me, now who’s the poet.

~~ I think ~~

~~ You are ~~

I have enjoyed the time we’ve had together here, however dire the circumstances. I’m glad it’s you. I couldn’t have lost anyone else. I couldn’t have lost you.

I’d like to ask you a question, but I don’t want to drag it out of you by accident, so I’m going to ask it on paper. Once you’re back from the shops you can give me an answer. Or, you know, whenever you like.  ~~I wonder if Would you Do you want to~~ I’d like to take you for drinks, or something, once this is all over with?

Yours,

Jon


End file.
